So many tales to tell... so many personalities who's permission is required to share said tales!
My trip this last weekend to New York may very well be my absolute favorite experience there, and that is really saying something. I love New York. I love it for so many reasons. The food, the people, the energy. I love that I have so many friends there, each with deep and rich memories of prior adventures. I decided to tell, as best I could (and without the additional sordid details) what it is like when I embrace New York and New York embraces me back...
All times are approximate as sobriety is a constant issue.
Saturday:
6:00am- Arrived from LA on the red eye so early that even the sun was still sleeping. See a T-shirt in a window that reads, "I'm a Drunk not an Alcoholic. Alcoholics go to meetings". I silently wish the store open.
6:15am - Meet Ben in baggage claim (he flew in on a different airline). He begins to talk about his flight, I sing an Alanis Morissette song in my mind so I don't hear what he is complaining about. It's an uneventful train ride beyond my boredom which had me going through my toiletries bag and applying the several flavors of lip balm I was carrying and a silver hoop earring that I wore the duration of the trip. I haven't worn an earring in years!
8:00am- Get to Christa's apartment. She did not like being woken up, nor did she like the suggestion that we go and get Starbucks and begin our day. She and Ben went to sleep while I watched TV. Somewhere between the fabulous life of Britney Spears and a repeat of That 70's Show, I must have passed out as well until Erica called my cell around 11.
11:30am- Erica and Eric have arrived at Christa's apartment where we have been slowly getting ready. Christa gets a bottle of champagne and we begin our day properly. I of course forget that I had spent all day Friday with one of my top ten worst hangovers.
12:00pm- Too many mimosas later, we stumble around the corner to a great little diner on 15th and 8th. Delicious breakfast, lots of over the top sexual conversations and dozens of cute boys passing by. Heaven.
1:20pm- We all part ways. Eric has to go meet someone (I don't care who, still upset that anyone could be more important than me), Christa is off to run some errands at the BBB (Bed, Bath and Beyond), while Ben, Erica and I head off to Soho for a spot of shopping. As we are walking off our champagne, I am being reminded that I was in fact hungover on Friday and am wondering if we would be seeing that delicious BLT again that I had at the cafe. All is well when we get to the Pop Shop and I get my ritual one item from there (a new Keith Haring umbrella that was on clearance). It is pouring down rain outside and the heat is sweltering. My hair fought becoming an afro and barely won. Erica found the bag she wanted from a street vendor the day before and after nearly slipping to death twice in the rain because of his flip flops, Ben purchased a new pair, this time with traction. We were all content with our purchases, but in dire need of cocktail stimulation.
4:00pm- Subway back up to Chelsea to visit my friend at the Chelsea Grill. He isn't working, but we stay for some awful food and a cocktail. We are all so tired and useless that we don't speak. Instead I look out into the rainy streets and wonder why I came to New York at all.
5:30pm- We get back to Christa's where she shows her BBB purchases and we all quickly snuggle beneath her new linens and comforters. We watch more TV and doze in and out of consciousness. I have traveled 2,882.6 miles to spend a rainy, tired day indoors. My brain wonders if my cat is okay and considers cutting off my hair before I officially fall asleep.
8:00pm- We are lying around watching TV still. Old School is on. No one seems to be racing to the shower or to pour a cocktail. I want to panic, but I have decided that I just don't care. We can stay in and watch TV and I will remain content just so long as I choose to forget that I have flown so far to get here. Eric is supposed to be over at 9 so we can get a drink. I think Erica is in the shower.
9:10pm- Christa announces that Eric is coming over around 9:45 and immediately pours me a drink before I explode with boredom (often confused with anger from my volatile reactions).
10:00pm- Christa is finally getting ready and I am on my third Vodka and Cranberry. Have stopped caring that Eric hasn't arrived yet. Everyone assures me that no one goes out before 11. I contemplate the balls (some pun intended) it took for Will Farrell to film a nude streaker scene in front of all of those extras.
10:30pm- Eric arrives and Ben has put on Bon Jovi's greatest hits (I am certain in an attempt to keep me sedated). I'm still drinking. I don't care if we ever leave the building.
11:00pm- We finally commit to leaving the house and meeting Christa and Eric's friends. Our party inside is so much fun, I no longer feel like going outside. Erica convinces me or Eric smiles, not sure, but somehow, I follow the group.
11:30pm- We walk over to HELL, a favorite bar of mine in the meat packing district. Somehow I buy a round of drinks on my non-existent budget. Not happy about this and the look on my face shows it. Trying to rally and enjoy myself, but inside, wishing we were back at the apartment listening to Bon Jovi. I put in $2 in the juke box hoping to hear some Deee-Lite. They can always make me smile. Instead it plays some Mariah Carey song and I am reminded I am in Hell.
11:50pm- The group consensus is that Hell is living up to its title and we are going dancing. As we leave, I hear the jukebox chirping out Groove Is In The Heart. Figures. Right outside the club, a drunk Ben enthusiastically accosts a guy quietly sitting on the rail because he loves the green of his jacket. The guy looks at Ben with fear in his eyes, wouldn't you?
11:56pm- We make a decide on which club we are going. Erica and I exchange glances, we are willing to rally as a group, but the energy of the evening is not inspiring us to dance. We divide into separate cabs as the theme from Sex and the City jingles out of my cell phone. It is Erik Garbus calling from Suede where Joey and a few other friends are. I tell him we are on our way without even conferring with the group. We call the other cab and no one complains. Internally I breathe relief, because I know all is about to get better.
12:10am- We arrive at Suede where there is a long line to get in and the bouncer tells someone there is a $20 cover charge. My insecurity kicks in. Maybe we should have gone to the other club. I tell the bouncer who I am. He raises the velvet rope and lets me in with all of my friends in tow, no cover charge and back to the VIP section. It's good to be me. We turn the corner and several voices scream over the loud hip hop "Holy Hell! Big Gay Bob is here!". I was home. Alfonso, Joey, Erik, Dre, Dave, it was so great. They welcomed us in and Joey asked me what I wanted. I barely blinked and I had a vodka cranberry in my hand. Within seconds I was dancing on a table and Erica was dancing on the bench. This was how I remembered New York to be. Eric finally arrived with the other cab of people. We danced. We drank. Ben was on a table when the guys from Boys to Men showed up. I watched a security guard reach for Ben when Joey told him he was with us. Ben never even knew it happened, he just got to keep dancing. At this point there were bottles of Vodka and mixers on the tables. Not a great idea when you have already been drinking all day. At least a bartender can water them down and make you think that you are still getting drunk. Everytime I would pour a new drink, Eric would remove it from my hand, take a large gulp, pass it to Erica, she would take a large gulp and hand it back to me. Fearing there would be none left, I would take a large gulp, only to find the glass empty. So I would fill it up again and the cycle continued until I could no longer get on the table. At one point Erica fell off the table bringing Eric and I down on top of her. She is still questioning the bruises on her body. In an attempt to grab Eric's ass, I reached too far and grabbed this black guy's dick. Thank you lord for not letting him kill me, because I really believe in my soul, he wanted to.
2:00am- Christa leaves. She is too drunk and has had enough.
3:45am- We decide we are done with Suede. We say our goodbyes. Joey invites us to the closing performances of Little Shop of Horrors the next morning. Erica joins some guys out front doing gymnastics on the scaffolding. They can't seem to stay on the bar, so Erica declares them as wimps and begins climbing the scaffolding herself. She shows them... I don't think anything, but it made for some great photo ops!
4:00am- Ben, Erica, Eric and I eat pizza around the corner from Christa's. We laugh and we eat. This is the New York I love.
4:30am- Christa has somehow managed to get us each into our proper sleeping locations (or at least close enough as I am sleeping on the small space of floor next to my mattress). Erica and I finally stop giggling and pass out.
Sunday confronts us in just a few hours...
to be continued...
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