Music makes the people come together

A Musical meme for Monday... borrowed generously from Sizzle...

Band for a Lifetime:
Choose a band/artist and answer ONLY in titles of their songs.

I picked The Go-Gos.

1. Are you male or female?
Male

2. Describe yourself.
Vision of Nowness

3. How do some people feel about you?
Cool Jerk

4. How do you feel about yourself?
Beautiful

5. Describe your ex:
Unforgiven

6. Describe your current significant other:
Skidmarks on my Heart

7. Describe where you want to be:
Vacation

8. Describe how you live:
Get Up and Go

9. Describe how you love:
Head Over Heels

10. What would you ask for if you had just one wish?
Lust to Love

11. Share a few words of wisdom:
Can't Stop the World (why let it stop you?)

12. Now say goodbye:
Good for Gone

***************************************************************

Oh! And before I forget, I need your help. In an effort to get more in touch with my "persona" vs. my internal me, I am doing one of these. Go here. Be honest.

for Monday, March 27

Dear Bob,
Here is your single's love horoscope
for Monday, March 27:

It may sound corny, but learning to love yourself is indeed the greatest love of all. Seek to accept yourself, warts and all, rather than being endlessly self-critical. Once you love you, someone else can, too.

Last night's American Idol

First of all, Sizzle, I am stealing two things from you today. Your Paula Abdul pic (because you are right, there are no good ones of her clapping) and one of your quotes. That will be coming later...

Now let's start with Seacrest. Is it just me or has he just become fearless and angry in the face of Cowell? I feel like ever since he took over E! and every other media outlet in town, he thinks he is Oprah and if I were Cowell, I would be on my best behavior with him, because he is obviously not stopping until he reaches world domination.

And then there's Paula. My friend was in the audience last night and I immediately sent him a text saying, "Please find out what Paula is on and get me some." She so lucid last night. When Taylor went into the audience, I was looking for an IV drip. I have a feeling it is under the table. I also love how the more out of it she gets (seriously, look at her eyes, she can barely keep them open), the more trouble her hands have trying to make contact when she claps. And what was up with that whole breakdown she had about dancing when Simon kept saying, "this isn't a dancing competition!" It does make for good TV.

And did anyone notice the sound problems? They kept forgetting to turn Paula and Randy's mics down when they would pan into the audience. Unfortunately they didn't say anything good, but some of the "noises" Paula was making validate my theory that she was definitely on something.

And now for my rundown on the performances...

Mandisa- Amazing. Sexy. Flawless.
Bucky- Embarrassing, bad hair and he looked like a *cocker spaniel. I can't be the only one to think this. *see below
Paris- I can't wait to see her at 21. With Whitney back in the ghetto, we need a new diva.
Chris- This was my favorite performance of his. He owned a song that has always been known as Johnny's- and that is hard to do!
Katharine- She is the one to watch out for. I'm sorry I didn't have you in my original Top 10 because each week you just keep getting better and better!
Taylor- He is still my favorite. His passion for music is infectious, but the song he chose should've been second in a set list, not an opening number.
Lisa- Sizzle said it best, "I think she used to be on 21 Jump Street."
Kevin- Ick. America, you have two choices to send home tonight: Kevin and Bucky. Please don't disappoint.
Elliot- File your teeth down and maybe your diction will match your amazing voice. In the meantime, I am too distracted to listen.
Kellie- I was waiting for her to fall when she was walking around. I just wish that the whole dumb bit was an act, but I just know that it ain't y'all.
Ace- You're just not my Constantine and I've heard better versions of that song (most notably by Debbie Gibson on the Wonder Years soundtrack)

*Seriously...

And anyone looking for one more reason to join Myspace, the top 12 now each have their own fansites:

:: Kevin Covais
:: Ace Young
:: Lisa Tucker
:: Paris Bennett
:: Taylor Hicks
:: Mandisa
:: Kellie Pickler
:: Elliott Yamin
:: Bucky Covington
:: Melissa McGhee
:: Katharine McPhee
:: Chris Daughtry

And that's all I've got! Merrick out!

Bye, bye Breea bye, bye..

Tonight was a very sad going away soiree for Breea as she leaves us for her new life in Illinois. I hate goodbyes. I hate change. Big surprise! (I'm a cancer) Fortunately, Bon Jovi wrote a song that helps put my feelings into words. If only I could also perform my interpretive dance...

As I sit in this smokey room
The night about to end
I pass my time with strangers
But this bottle's my only friend

Remember when we used to park
On Olympic out in the dark
Remember when we lost the keys
And you lost more than that in my backseat, baby

Remember when we used to talk
About busting out - we'd break their hearts
Together - forever

Never say goodbye, never say goodbye
You and me and my old friends
Hoping it would never end
Never say goodbye, never say goodbye
Holdin' on - we've got to try
Holdin' on to never say goodbye

Remember days of skipping school
Racing cars and being cool
With a six pack and the radio
We didn't need no place to go

Remember at the Christmas party that night
You and alcohol had a fight
But the band they played our favorite song
And I held you in my arms so strong
(and you spent the night in the lobby of Revolution)

We danced so close
We danced so slow
And I swore I'd never let you go
Together - forever

Never say goodbye, never say goodbye
You and me and my old friends
Hoping it would never end
Say goodbye, never say goodbye
Holdin' on - we've got to try
Holdin' on to never say goodbye

I guess you'd say we used to talk
About busting out
We'd break their hearts
Together - forever

Never say goodbye, never say goodbye
You and me and my old friends

Hoping it would never end
Say goodbye, never say goodbye

Holdin' on - we got to try
Holdin' on to never say goodbye

Yo Ho, Yo Ho! A pirate's life for me...

Well, last night started off innocent enough... It was Jo's birthday, so to celebrate, she had us over for the opening night of the new Safari Club with catering by the Chef Monkeys (God I love those bacon wrapped breadsticks!) and Kumquatinis from Paddy. As I was leaving, I was headed to Grant and Polly's pirate themed birthday. I needed someone to help me get smokey looking eyes like Johnny Depp in Pirates of the Carribean. When I saw Kindall's face light up because she knew how to do smokey eyes, I knew there was no one else I wanted near my face. She was so cute and sweet about it, I wouldn't have cared if she had painted my face to look like a clown. Fortunately, she actually did a fantastic job! Here we are (with her brother Chace) after the final touch up...

Then, maybe it was the kumquatinis, or the vodka cranberries, but within minutes of being at the Pirate party, I was ready to walk the plank. Thank God I had Adam to drive me home. In my hazy state of mind, I kept forgetting to take pictures... but I am happy with the few that I have... and at least they allude to the notion that I didn't do anything too embarrassing!

Here is Chane't dressed as a pirate's wench...

The hostess, Miss Polly was dressed as a parrot. I know, brilliant! And yes, I couldn't help but scream, "Polly want a cracker?"

And our other host and Polly's better half, Grant. I would have liked to have seen him carry her around on his shoulder... Argh!

We were throwing down our pirate gang signs...

All I can say is, click to enlarge...

Not too bad considering this was the last photo I took of the night as we were walking out the door. It's nice to see I was still standing!

Rewarded and Converted

There is a very good chance that my friend Paddy's influence on me is undervalued. Two years ago, she and I attended the Barenaked Ladies and Alanis Morissette concert at the Greek. It's no secret we were there for Alanis and had no regard either direction for the Ladies. By the end of their set, I wasn't just on my feet and dancing and screaming for more, I was head over feet in love. The next day, I ran out and bought the entire Barenaked Ladies catalogue. What can I say? I'm like that.

Back in 2000, Paddy and I were at Lillith Fair at the Rose Bowl. They announced a female country trio that neither of us were familiar with, so we decided to head to the beer stand at the back of the bowl. Our seats were in the 13th row towards the stage. The country girls started up with their fiddles and twang and just as we were hitting the back of the bowl, every single person in that venue was on their feet stompin', hollerin' and waving their hands in the air. I had never seen anything like it. Paddy and I forgot about the beer and ran back to our seats. We had just experienced the Dixie Chicks for the very first time (and if you read yesterday's blog, you know there was no looking back).

Which brings me to last night...

A few weeks ago, Paddy sent out an email to Erica, Clara, Jo and myself. One of their favorite singers, Jill Sobule was going to be playing at Largo in Hollywood. I had no idea who she was (and honestly am generally uninterested in going to shows of singers I've never heard of). But I replied without hesitation because I had missed my girls. I love those girls more than I ever let on and I really didn't care if we were going to see Gary Coleman read the phone book so long as I was with them.

We knoshed on some delicious sweet and tangy crusted chicken with mashed potatoes and Clara and I caught up (and by caught up, I mean, Clara sat there listening while I yammered on about a situation I am not ready to make nice on). Then Jill took the stage...

Again, I'm not usually good with newness. Not usually receptive to new people, new ideas, new changes. It's safe to say I like familiarity. But I guess that is also what makes it so electric when someone can come along and penetrate my stubborn exterior and make me want more. This was the case when Jill Sobule opened her mouth and allowed her brilliant thoughts, painful heartaches and often hilarious observations fly around the room in her Jewel-like voice, filling the air with song. You could feel her words dripping from the rafters long after the last note had left her body. having a good time with just her, she found a way to kick the evening up a notch and make me even happier.

After singing her 1995 hit I Kissed a Girl (which she declared, "it's time to sing "the hit and get it out of the way"), she invited up her new friend, SNL Alumni, Julia Sweeney for an impromptu performance. I love Julia Sweeney. I go to as many of her one woman performances as I can here in Los Angeles. I love her views on life and her ability to add levity to tragic situations and to laugh through the absurdity that is often life. She knocked it out of the park last night.

In between Jill's irreverent songs, Julia would share stories from her time on SNL to her Catholic upbringing in Spokane. In the background, Jill and her two piece band (a lead guitarist named Adam Levy and a hot stand up bass player that seriously stole Ricky Martin's facial features) played jazzy rifts as Julia took the audience on her own ride. It was such a simple concept, yet totally original and incredibly fulfilling (and quite the reward for saying yes without hesitation). Seriously delicious chicken, a table of some of my favorite people, and the birth of a new fandom, it was a good night.

This morning I have been filling my itunes with Jill Sobule tracks. I'm officially a convert. I highly recommend everyone do the same. Cinnamon Park (where she samples Chicago's Saturdays in the Park), Bitter and Under The Disco Ball are three of my faves. Also, you can download her smart and funny track (legally and for free) she wrote in response to Global Warming by clicking here. And for a much more eloquent review of last night, click here.

That about does it for now. Paddy, thanks again for opening my eyes to another star. Jill, if you've done one of your Blog Googles, thank you for a great night and I look forward to many more!

Not Ready to Make Nice

They're back.

I was having a bit of a day on Monday. Frustrating. Challenging. Irritating. Obnoxious. A day I would not like to relive. Then...

sitting at home and cruising through myspace, I came across my friend Jessie's site where she was broadcasting the new Dixie Chicks song, "Not Ready To Make Nice".

As always, when you ask from the universe, it delivers.

I was of course happy just to have Natalie's voice soaring through my home. But after I caught the lyrics, my chest filled with fire. It was just the kind of emotion and passion I needed to be reminded of. I love how music can always translate that power and remind me to feel.

I am so proud of those Chicks of mine. They could have gone off and made a safe radio friendly album and come back with their tails between their legs, begging for forgiveness. Instead, they came back with a nice, on pitch and packed with a punch, "Fuck You!"

**editor's note- I wouldn't pick a fight with me anytime soon!

Not Ready To Make Nice

(written by Emily Robison, Martie Maguire, Natalie Maines, Dan Wilson)

Forgive, sounds good
Forget, I'm not sure I could
They say time heals everything
But I'm still waiting

I'm through with doubt
There's nothing left for me to figure out
I've paid a price
And I'll keep paying

I'm not ready to make nice
I'm not ready to back down
I'm still mad as hell and

I don't have time to go round and round and round
It's too late to make it right
I probably wouldn't if I could
Cause I'm mad as hell
Can't bring myself to do what it is you think I should

I know you said
Can't you just get over it
It turned my whole world around
And I kind of like it

I made my bed and I sleep like a baby
With no regrets and I don't mind sayin'
It's a sad, sad story when a mother will teach her

Daughter that she ought to hate a perfect stranger
And how in the world can the words that I said
Send somebody so over the edge
That they'd write me a letter

Saying that I better shut up and sing

or my life would be over

I'm not ready to make nice
I'm not ready to back down
I'm still mad as hell and

I don't have time to go round and round and round
It's too late to make it right
I probably wouldn't if I could
Cause I'm mad as hell
Can't bring myself to do what it is you think I should

I'm not ready to make nice
I'm not ready to back down
I'm still mad as hell and

I don't have time to go round and round and round
It's too late to make it right
I probably wouldn't if I could
Cause I'm mad as hell
Can't bring myself to do what it is you think I should

Forgive, sounds good
Forget, I'm not sure I could
They say time heals everything
But I'm still waiting

To hear the song head on over to myspace.com/dixiechicks

On the Bible and the Constitution

On Wednesday, March 1st, 2006, in Annapolis at a hearing on the proposed Constitutional Amendment to prohibit gay marriage, Jamie Raskin, professor of law at AU, was requested to testify.

At the end of his testimony, Republican Senator Nancy Jacobs said:

"Mr. Raskin, my Bible says marriage is only between a man & a woman. What do you have to say about that?"

Raskin replied: "Senator, when you took your oath of office, you placed your hand on the Bible and swore to uphold the Constitution. You did not place your hand on the Constitution and swear to uphold the Bible."

The room erupted into applause.

Relationships

Dear Bob,
Here is your horoscope
for Tuesday, March 14:

Good relationships become great thanks to this celestial influence, but one that's been faltering might be on its last legs. Welcome this change, and you'll see beneficial results. Fight it, and things could get more difficult.

From Margaret Cho's Blog

Nearly all abortions will be illegal now in South Dakota. This is appalling and unbelievable and this is happening in America. We are losing the sense of who we are. We are losing our freedoms daily, one by one, like fingers from a leprous hand. Our once cherished beliefs like democracy and independence are decaying and dropping off to reveal a withered stump of a nation. We can't go out like this…

N.O.W.

Planned Parenthood

NARAL

Feminist Majority Foundation

Related blog reading:

Keep Your Legs Together in South Dakota
Your Baby's Daddy is Your Daddy and I Don't Care
The Sodomized Virgin Exception
Don't Fuck
Control and Sex
Sex: Evil or Just Merely Wicked?

Fall to Pieces

Sometimes you can be driving down the road with your music blasting and not a care in the world. The songs fit so right that you smile at the traffic ahead because it means additional time you can spend singing along (or in my case screeching). But every so often there is that ever so rare moment that a song snaps you back into reality and speaks to parts of your body you didn't even know had feeling.

This morning, I had one of those.

I won't name names and I know this is going to raise eyebrows. But if Alanis doesn't need to tell us who ought to know and Carly won't tell us who's so vain, why should I have to share all of my secrets? This song just struck me this morning in a way I never could've anticipated and I wanted it out there in the universe- acknowledged and processed. With a lump in my throat, I sang every word this morning as if I had never heard a single lyric before...

I looked away
then I looked back at you,
You tried to say
the things that you can't undo,
If I had my way
I'd never get over you,
Today's the day
I pray that we make it through.

Make it through the fall,
Make it through it all.

And I don't wanna fall to pieces
I just wanna sit and stare at you.
I don't wanna talk about it
And I don't want a conversation
I just wanna cry in front of you.
I don't wanna talk about it
'cause I'm in love with you.

You're the only one
I'd be with til the end.
When I come undone
you bring me back again.

Back under the stars,
Back into your arms.

And I don't wanna fall to pieces
I just wanna sit and stare at you.
I don't wanna talk about it
And i don't want a conversation
I just wanna cry in front of you.
I don't wanna talk about it
'cause I'm in love with you.

Wanna know who you are,
Wanna know where to start,
I wanna know what this means.

Wanna know how you feel,
Wanna know what is real.
I wanna know everything... Everything.

I don't wanna fall to pieces
I just wanna sit and stare at you.
I don't wanna talk about it
And i don't want a conversation
I just wanna cry in front of you.
I don't wanna talk about it.

And I don't wanna fall to pieces
I just wanna sit and stare at you.
I don't wanna talk about it.

And I don't want a conversation
I just wanna cry in front of you.
And I don't wanna talk about it
'cause I'm in love with you... I'm in love with you, 'cause I'm in love with you.
I'm in love with you... I'm in love with you.

a weekend of whining...

Paddy and I traveled north to the Russian River this past weekend for a barrel tasting tour to celebrate my Aunt Heidi's birthday. I expected to walk sideways like Paul Giamatti, but ended up more with a sour stomach. But that didn't keep me from having a great time and endless laughs... below are a few of the pics from the trip (as always, click to enlarge) with various lyrics that capture each mood...

You came along just like a song
You brightened my day
Who'd believe you were part of a dream
That only seemed light years away

You get right down to the bottom of the barrel and float back on top.

Sisters, sisters,
There were never such devoted sisters.
Never had to have a chaperone, no sir.

Don't you know that I heard it through the grapevine?

Where do we go, nobody knows
Don't ever say you're on your way down, when..
God gave you style and gave you grace
And put a smile upon your face

I'd like to buy the world another shot of laughter
And buy my friends another drink


Jump in the water
Sweet little princess
Let me introduce his frogness
You alone can get him singing
He's all puffed up, wanna be your king
Oh you can do it
Lady kiss that frog

Caring, sharing
every little thing that we are wearing.
When a certain gentleman arrived from Rome,
she wore the dress and I stayed home.
All kinds of weather, we stick together,
the same in the rain or sun.

A bottle of red, a bottle of white
It all depends upon your appetite
I'll meet you any time you want
In our Italian Restaurant.

Those who've seen us
know that not a thing can come between us.
Many men have tried to split us up, but no one can.
Lord help the mister who comes between me and my sister,
and Lord help the sister that comes between me and my man.

make a wish darling...

Happy Birthday! xox

Note to self:

I need to write here more.

I need to write more in general.

I always feel better after I have written. Somewhat accomplished.

My thoughts become tangible.

Like little pills that I can swallow and share with my friends.

Pills that we can let sit on our tongues and slowly dissolve while we absorb them or swallow whole to quickly digest.

I want to be as disciplined about my writing as Sizzle. She not only writes from such a place of heart and emotion, but she does it daily with diligence. Every day as I open her blog, I am immediately inspired to sit at my own keyboard and begin releasing the thoughts that dance in my mind. By the end of her post, I am left with nothing to say because I feel she has already said it and I could never compete with her articulation.

I need to move beyond this in my mind.

For it is not a competition, it is a release. It is a place marker of how I felt that day, that week, at that particular time in my life.

Writing is so important to me.

I need to remind myself of this daily and make more time for it.

Exercising my brain is as important as time spent on a treadmill.

A cluttered mind is a terrible waste.

A sharp mind is a gift.

A bottled up mind is confused and chaotic.

A released mind finds clarity and perspective. Comfort and resolve.

Must write more.

Must, must, must.