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Imagine that you go out one night to a really nice bar with your friends and have a few cocktails..
They taste so good, so you have a few more and then the DJ plays your favorite oldie -- 'I Will Survive,' so you're off to the dance floor..
After an hour or so of shakin' your goodies, the DJ plays that irritating head-banging music, so you rejoin the group for a rest and another cocktail, or three.
You notice a group of men standing nearby and one of them is looking at you. You look back at him and there is tangible chemistry between the two of you.
YOU buy him a drink
He likes a woman who is not afraid to buy a man a drink. He approaches you to chat and you get along really well.
When the time seems perfect for both of you, he leans over and kisses you..
You have never been kissed like this before, an electric kiss and a tingle shudders through your entire body and you don't want it to stop.
"I don't usually do this sort of thing," you hear yourself saying, "but I've never felt like this before. Do you want to come back to my place?"
You wake up the next morning, and you roll out of bed, half-asleep , to go to the toilet, last night's memories slightly blurred
You look at yourself in the mirror, make an "urgh" sound...
As you're sitting there, you remember that you fell in love last night...
With a smile on your face , you stand up and walk back to the bedroom and see...
You instantly sober up, dial animal control, and vow to never ever drink again!
My Boyfriend: I bought us this chocolate cream pie.
Me: Yum! I love chocolate cream pie (tastes it). Hmmm. Something tastes odd.
BF: It does?
Me: Yeah, you don't notice it?
BF: Well, a little, but it still tastes good to me.
Me: (after checking the expiration date) Well it expires on March 8th and it tastes a little sour, so I don't think we should eat it just in case.
BF: It expires on March 8th? I thought that is when it was made!
Me: First of all, you bought it yesterday and secondly, today is March 7th.
BF: So it came from the future?
A blonde woman was speeding down the road in her
little red sports car and was pulled over by a woman
police officer who was also a blonde.
The blonde cop asked to see the blonde's driver's
license. She dug through her purse and was getting
progressively more agitated. "What does it look like?"
she finally asked.
The policewoman replied, "It's square and it has your
picture on it."
The driver finally found a square mirror in her purse,
looked at it and handed it to the policewoman. "Here
it is," she said. The blonde officer looked at the
mirror, then handed it back saying, "Okay, you can go.
I didn't realize you were a cop."
Nothing was as funny as Gayle and Oprah's cross country trip, but this definitely made me giggle...
Remember when your mother told you to never take candy from a stranger? This is who she was talking about... 
