In case you missed it...

This comment was posted below to my "I want to be your boyfriend" poem that I wrote in 2001. Just wanted to make sure no one missed it and to help clear up any confusion... As always, I always encourage comments. It lets me know how I am doing!

Anonymous said...

Oy! Another self-loathing fat guy who hateas his weight so much that he must wait to find love until a fetish-loving thin guy pays him any mind.
You could have found love long ago - you are talented, cute, funny, introspective. But as a big guy [bigger, then] the thought of yourself with ANOTHER big guy so frightened you that you pondered love, cried about lonliness and wept for the thin guy you so wanted to be, that you didn't even atempt to love another who was big like you, opting to just whine about not being loved by anyone. No, that self-hatred festered until you changed your weight to a smaller [though, still a big guy] enough body that a thin guy will actually love you? Is THAT healthy?
That's sad. While i rejoice for you in your weight loss, i pity you for your self-loathing.
And a long-distant relationship? Even more pathetic [and they NEVER work out, lest you be fooled into thinking that they do].
Grow up, be a man and LOVE YOURSELF. And love another big guy when this 'boyfriend' disappears [and he will].


Bob said...

Dear Mr. Reston, VA-

Thank you so much for taking the time to stop by and slap some sense into me.

I'd just like to address some misconceptions you seem to have about me. I don't usually respond to these "types" of comments. But, I would hate to think there are others out there sharing your thoughts...

1) It is true, I did used to be a self-loathing fat guy. For many years in fact. I wasn't self-loathing because I was fat. I was fat because I was self-loathing. I spent the majority of my earlier years feeling undeserving of any kind of love- romantic, friendship or self.

2) You keep alluding to me having been a bigger guy then as though I am smaller now. Well, thank you. But I am actually the same weight that I have been for the last few years. So I am in the same fat body you were referring to, I just found a way to love it.

3) I never had a "type" when it came to the guys I was attracted to. But one thing that has always caught my eye is in fact "Bigger guys". Being as big as I am (6'3"), I have actually always wanted someone bigger, but as you can imagine, unless I move to the Amazon, they are harder to find.

4) I never cried about loneliness. Never. Lonely is something I haven't been since about 14. Longing for a romantic relationship to share my journey with, that is a human hunger. One I have never let define me. Ask anyone who knows me. I've never whined or cried and let my singledom debilitate me.

5) A long distance relationship? I'm not sure which you are referring to, but my boyfriend lives four miles from me. I jogged there a couple of weekends ago. Although we have been together for six months now, I'm not quite ready to move in together, so I guess I will have to keep that four mile distance between us. I'm sorry that you think it is pathetic, but it works for me and I have never been happier. I am sure there are things about you that I disagree with, but the only thing I know about you is that you live somewhere in Virginia I have never heard of. I will just have to- like you have done with me, take you at the few words you have left me with on my blog.

6) Thank you for telling me to grow up. I almost forgot to.

7) Thank you for reminding me to love myself. I can honestly tell you that I do. But it is good to be reminded from time to time, because as we all know, some days can be harder than others...

8) I would look you up after my current boyfriend disappears (I am assuming you are the other big guy I should be considering even though as far as long distance goes, you seem to be even further than my current), but since you have chosen to post anonymously, I will just have to turn on my beacon light when it happens and hope that you find me.

Thanks for reading and taking the time to participate in my blog and of course my journey... xo