Tuesday, November 30, 2004

Am I only dreaming?

The last 20 minutes of my life have me in such a tail spin that I don't know how to react... you could tell me I am in a dream right now and I would believe you... there is a high probability that I am dreaming and if I am, well then I will wake with crazy memories... but if this is in fact all real... the memories will be that much crazier and the ripple effect will be felt that much stronger... I'm not about to make much sense... perhaps on purpose to retain anonymity for some... perhaps on accident because the wine is making my head swoon and details don't seem as suddenly relevant... Suffice to say, I had a lovely dinner with my friends Shannon and Heather... post dinner, Shannon and I went to a club in Hollywood, Spider... it was nice and because of some relationships, my wine was free... on our way out, we decided to make an appearance at Justin Timberlake's new club... thinking a quick in and out would do us some good... once inside we met up with Lance and friends... on our way to Wilmer without Lindsay's table... we ran into Gabrielle Union... the most fun and beautiful person I have danced with in ages... turns out we both grew up in the bay area and haunted the same haunts... off to Wilmer's table... where he greeted me openly as if we were old friends even though we have only met twice before... Andy Dick was there... acting foolish, yet expectant... Paris Hilton said hi to us in her dark brown wig.... looking through me even though she has met me repeatedly... there were others... mostly annoying... none important to the moments that are affecting me as I grow tired... leaving the club, Shannon and I were chased by several photographers... blinding us with their flashes... were we Cameron and Justin?... will tomorrow's tabloids read: Shannon on the town with new man?... at home, two emails waited from me... why did I leave my sunglasses in my hair?... one from Charlotte from The Go-Gos... inviting me to a special event she was throwing... am I dreaming?... the other... an intimate stranger from my past... Jen Kamerman... the inspiration behind my move to LA... someone who ran away across the country from her demons... only to give birth and start anew in South Carolina... I haven't heard from her in years... why tonight?? am I dreaming? Will I awake and this whole madcap evening have only existed in my mind??? I suppose only time will tell... if these words still remind me tomorrow... then I know it is not made up... unless my entire life exists in my subconscious... but if that were the case... couldn't I dream myself rich???

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