I am with you still...

I lost my grandmother this past week. She was an amazing woman and I wanted to share something I wrote for her memorial this afternoon...

I am so sorry I cannot be there today. I have a feeling that if anyone were to figure I wouldn't be able to make it, it would be Grandma Mary. Last Friday, I went down to the beach and sat at the shore and watched the sunset. I thought about Grandma Mary as I said my goodbyes and cried away the memories of a life lived and the class and dignity with which she lived it. She was a stoic woman who revered the legacy she left behind with her children, her children's children and now her great grandchildren. She never batted an eye when I arrived on her doorstep in 1986, a surprise addition to the Buettner family. She never winced once when she would ask me if I had a boyfriend. Hailing from a generation that wasn't always so, her ability to be open minded proved how ahead of her time and how hip she was; and I promise her humble unassuming character never even knew it. Her dedication as a wife for over 50 years was an inspiration in devotion and commitment. As the Christmas season approaches, I will be reminded of her as I pull out my collection of ceramic snow babies. Early on, they became one of my favorite Christmas treasures and each year she made sure there was a new one attached to my Christmas present. Beyond just being cute, I know that she painted each one with love and I find it an honor to have them adorning my mantle for all of my Christmases to come. Her silent grace and elegance will be missed at family functions, but her gift of love and sophistication will resonate through our family for as long as we exist. There is a Native American prayer that brings me comfort as we pause to reflect our mortality and the lives that have been able to share in our journeys.

I give you this one thought to keep-

I am with you still
I do not sleep

I am a thousand winds that blow
I am the diamond glints in the snow
I am the sunlight on ripened grain,
I am the gentle autumn rain.

When you awaken
In the morning hush
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft stars that shine at night.

Do not think of me as gone-
I am with you still
In each new dawn.

It gives me comfort knowing that Mary and Les are back together, looking down on us and on our side. As they will live in our hearts forever, with their light and love in our lives, I know that we are all going to be all right.

xox

Bob