When Bad Things Happen To Good People

This is a self portrait I just took moments ago to demonstrate why you should never color your own hair. Think of this as the first ever planetbaub public service announcement. If you notice in the photo below from my Out photo shoot from last Friday, I had blonde hair. I decided it needed to be touched up because the contrast from light to dark was too much. On Saturday night I applied an all-over blonde. I thought it looked nice until I woke up Easter Sunday with brassy gold hair. So I headed back to Rite Aid for some brown to add some lowlights. The brown I chose had "copper" in it. For anyone wondering, copper is short for "Fire Engine Red". At 11:30 last night, I found myself at Rite Aid again purchasing another brown, with no red, no gold- just a darkness that would cover the color before I was carted off to the circus. It is a nightmare and now I have to live with it for the next few weeks. I already miss my luscious blonde trademark locks.
(c)planetbaub 2005

Desperate Times Call For Desperate Measurements

The thing I have found most interesting about the subject of my new column is how out of touch people are with the junk in their trunks. Everyone is intrigued by the results of a colonic, but too completely terrified and grossed out to get one. Here is my experience thus far... and yes, if my insurance pays for it, I've decided to get the other two... http://66.161.86.126/detail.asp?id=10621
(c)planetbaub 2005

Happy New Years! (in March)

I may have shared the majority of my feelings on New Year's Eve in my first installment of Love Handles, but what I didn't mention was Janice Dickinson's friend, an Asian Heiress, who cornered Macaulay and me. Her tyrade was endless and neither of us knew what she was talking about, but she was passionate and we were both wet from her constant spit. We finally got Janice to take her home, but not before she insisted on hopping in this photo with us... good times! (by the way, that is her down there at the bottom)
(c)planetbaub 2005

Happy Easter!

Here's to hoping that the Easter Bunny brings you large baskets of chocolate, love and laughter this Sunday (and hopefully he is kind enough to send some sugar free chocolate my direction). xoxoxoxoox
(c)planetbaub 2005

I'd rather be a desperate housewife than a fat actress...

This is a photo that I just received a couple of weeks ago, but I finally decided to share. It was taken back in December at Kathy Griffin's Toys For Tots party. The significance of this photo (aside from the very hunky James Denton from Desperate Housewives with his not so desperate real life wife), is to note how heavy I look (and remember feeling). This whole weight loss thing is soooooooooo slow and I have been rather frustrated of late. But when I look at this picture, I can finally see some change (not just my hair). Most notably I have lost the fat pockets that seemed to be sagging from under my eyes.

I am also proud to announce that for the first year since I turned 21, I went to the gym last night (St. Patrick's Day) instead of swilling green beer down my gullet. Baby steps.

Just thought I would share...

Spy Girl Run... one year later...

So hard to believe, but it has been one year since our one and only grand performance at the Whisky-a-Go-Go on the Sunset Strip as Spy Girl Run. It was Jo's 40th birthday and a dream come true for everyone on stage. I guess our next dream will have to be staging a reunion tour... www.spygirlrun.com
(c)planetbaub 2005

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

An Irish man is sittin in a pub one night when 3 Englishmen walked in. The men sit down, and start to talk about how they can anger the Irishman... The first man says, "Watch this..." He gets up, walks over to the Irishman, and says, "Hey man, I hear your St. Patrick was a faggot." The Irishman just replies, "Oh, is that so now?" The Englishman, goes back to his seat perplexed, when his friend jumps up and says, "Here, lemme try that." So he goes over to the Irishman and says, "Hey man, I hear your St. Patrick was a transvestite faggot!" The Irishman only replies, "Oh, is that so now?" So the Englishman, frustrated goes and sits down with his friends. When the 3rd Englishman jumps up and says, "Well, now, I gotta try that!" So he walks over to the Irishman ans says, "Hey, I hear your St. Patrick was an ENGLISHMAN!"

And the Irishman replies, "Aye, that's what your friends were sayin."

Debbie Harry High Class of 1980 Senior Prom

The Mclean's surprised us all when they showed up looking smashing at the Debbie Harry High Class of 1980 Senior Prom. It was a surprise 25th birthday party for my friend Kyle! For more pictures, view the link to the left...
(c)planetbaub 2005

Regrets... I have a few...

I really hoped that the first time I was going to write about me having sex for all the world to read, it would be hot and scinitilating. Instead, it just reminds me how pathetic my sex life is as I reread what has turned out to be my own version of a mercy fuck...

http://66.161.86.126/detail.asp?id=10357

At least I like how the photo shoot (above) turned out. It's the same gray T-shirt I am wearing in the very first Love Handles shoot. So although the scales are saying I have stopped losing, at least it appears as though I've lost!

(c)planetbaub 2005

Why Are You HERE?

Earlier this week I went to the One Tree Hill Tour at The Wiltern, where Gavin DeGraw was headling with The Wreckers (w/Michelle Branch) and Tyler Hilton (who by the way is much cuter in person than on the show). It was a fantastic concert, with the exception of this fuckwad that insisted on standing to the left of me talking back to the stage and acting obnoxious for no other reason than to impress the dumb girls he was with. AND THEY WERE JUST AS IDIOTIC!

I don't understand, with ticket prices as inflated as they are, why people have to behave that way at a show. Why be there if you only want to make out with your girlfriend the entire time or talk non-stop about some crisis in your life? This isn't therapy or a bath house! They have easily spent a hundred dollars between the two of them to be there. Their money could be better spent renting a hotel room for the night so that those of us who are fans, and had to really justify the expense, can enjoy the performance. I so badly wanted to scream to the idiot and his dumb broads, "WHY ARE YOU HERE?"

In spite of the idiot talking to my left, Gavin blew the roof off the Wiltern with easily one of his best shows! The crowd lost their minds and I thought I was on an episode of Oprah's Favorite Things when he sang, "I Don't Wanna Be". Such a thrill watching his rocket soar...
(c)planetbaub 2005

Summary of the 2004 Election

The Democrats' mistake was in thinking that a disastrous war, national bankruptcy, erosion of civil liberties, corporate takeover of government, environmental destruction, squandering our economic and moral leadership in the world, and systematic Administration lying would be of concern to the electorate. The Republicans correctly saw that the chief concern of the electorate was to keep gay couples from having an abortion.

It's time to sweat to the oldies!

There's only one Richard Simmons!

Click here for the latest edition of Love Handles where I take an exercise class taught by the one and only Richard Simmons...

http://66.161.86.126/detail.asp?id=10061